R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
