You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
