i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
