Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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