they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize