I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
