we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
