"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
