You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
