went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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