Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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