Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
