fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Shame - the story of my life.
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