spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
