I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
