3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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