i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
