You smell like stripper and shame
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
