youre lurking in front of me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you will always have a special place in my vag
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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