I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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