remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
