I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
