You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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