He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
