At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
