end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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