her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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