OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize