you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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