i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
