bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
