that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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