Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
