If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
