a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
two words...techno handjob
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
