just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
