id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
