My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
