Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
