i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
