i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
