i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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