used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
