tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
