i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize