So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
