put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
