i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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