I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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