Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
