i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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