I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
