She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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