so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
