you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize