I hate all girls vehemently.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
