So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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