Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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