How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize