it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
