Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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