And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can't just leave with hair like that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
