i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
